Great Frontier: A Poorly Researched Musical About Lewis And Clark (Original Cast Recording Live)

by Kevin Froleiks and Patrick J. Reilly

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about

Great Frontier is a musical farce about Lewis and Clark, two pathetic townies who have never done anything remarkable with their lives. But everything changes when President Jefferson sends them out west!

Will Lewis and Clark become American heroes, or will their powerful foes squash their American Dream? We actually have no idea. This show was very poorly researched.

credits

released November 5, 2017

Music and Lyrics by Kevin Froleiks and Patrick J. Reilly
Directed by Joe Harris
Piano by Chie Monoe

Meriwether Lewis - Kevin Froleiks
William Clark - Patrick J. Reilly
Sacagawea - Sara Tazari
Chief Running Joke - Tchaikovsky Santos
Thomas Jefferson - King Harrison
Aaron Burr - Levy Bru
James Madison - Maurice Licorish
John Adams - AJ Thompson

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all rights reserved

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about

Kevin Froleiks New York, New York

Stand up and sketch comedian. Co-writer and composer of Great Frontier: A Poorly Researched Musical About Lewis And Clark

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Track Name: The Something Somethings
In the sixteen something somethings,
a ship came in from across the sea.
The women and men
called themselves puritans.
And they believed God said
they should wear belts on their heads.
They invited us to dinner.
To show they were friendly.
We ate turkey and squash,
a side of cranberry sauce.
Dinner at Plymouth Rock
and for dessert...small pox.

And that's why we don't trust the white men.
They fooled us once, but they won't fool us again.
We won't fall for their tricks like we did
in the sixteen something somethings.

In the seventeen something somethings,
revolution was in the air.
We heard the Battle Hymn notes,
from Minutemen and Red Coats.
We knew whoever won that day,
we were screwed anyway.
The colonies won the battle.
Celebration was in the air.
And they made their presence known
by kicking us out of our homes.
They pushed us further west
like we were some kind of pests.

And that's why we don't trust the white men.
They fooled us twice, but they won't fool us again.
We won't fall for their tricks like we did
in the seventeen something somethings.

Now it's the eighteen something somethings.
This is where our tale begins.
Thomas Jeff-er-san
just bought a bunch of new land.
And it belongs to him, you see,
'cause Manifest Destiny.
So I need you to remember,
for me and for all my kin.
SACAGAWEA AND NATIVE AMERICANS
We're endangered today,
no matter what teachers say.
We were slaughtered with guns,
But don't let that ruin your fun!

Don't ever, ever, ever trust the white men.
They'll fool you again and again and again.
Don't fall for their tricks like we did
in the eighteen something somethings.

Seriously, Native Americans were almost completely wiped out.

In the eighteen something somethings.

Now that everyone's in such a great mood, let's start the show, which takes place...

In the eighteen something somethings.
Track Name: Hello There Mr. President
Hello there, Mr. President.
If I could have a brief moment.
Hand to my creator,
I wanna make this country greater.
To be a bit more specific,
I wanna go to the Pacific.
I wanna explore and take inventory
of all the western territories.
So what do you say, sir?
I'm ready to leave today, sir.
I give you my solemn oath and vow!
I promise that I'll make my country proud!

My father told me this was,
all just a waste of time 'cause
I've never done a single thing
of merit or worth mentioning.
Maybe dad was right when he
said greatness was never my destiny.
Maybe I should leave and go back home...

Great idea! Because you'll never make it out there all alone!

Please let me first address,
I'm sorry for my tardiness.
Now I must implore
that you let us go explore.
There'll be quite a bit of commotion,
when we reach the Pacific Ocean.
Lewis and clark
Mr. President, come on, what do you say?

We'll do it for our Nation!
There'll be cause for celebration!

Out in the open air!
Where I can fight a bear!

Let us go and we can prove it!
I know that we can do it!

Together with my partner in crime!
Thanks for listening, Mr. President.
And thank you for your time.
Track Name: Just Stay Put
Just stay put,
plant your foot,
stay where you are.

Don't go out,
or wander about,
no need to go far!

When you travel and explore,
you're worse off than you were before.
So just stay put, just stay put, just stay put.

Just shut up,
and give up,
before you start.

There's no point,
in blowing this joint,
no need to depart!

Exploring sea to shining sea,
just makes more headaches for me.
So just stay put, just stay put, just stay put.

I'm sorry sir, but I just can't
comprehend or understand
how you can turn us down like this today.

It's all a joke or a prank, I trust.
You're obviously fooling us.
I don't believe you mean these things you say!

It's no joke,
sorry folks,
time to go.

Don't delay,
get on your way,
end of the show!

Even if you try,
you'll just get halfway there and die.
So just stay put, just stay put, just stay put.

Don't be scared,
to go out there,
and explore.

Don't be afraid,
to promenade,
to Pacific shores!

And if things get a little dangerous,
I know you'll be courag-e-ous.
Good luck, now get out, and explore!
Track Name: Rising in the West
Meriwether Lewis,
I know that we can do this.

Through thick and thin, and light and dark.
As sure as your name's William Clark.

Our journey's just beginning.
Can't keep myself from grinning.
Together you and me will venture out into the west.

No river is too wide.
No mountain is too high.
Our western quest will best the rest of the other western quests.

We'll journey everywhere it's
for scientific merits.
I know that I can do it with my best friend by my side.

We'll be gone for three Septembers,
but I need you to remember
that someday we'll be heroes and our names be glorified!

Off we go,
to the unknown!
I'm a little bit nervous, I confess.
I think we've found our calling
and although the sun is falling,
our adventure is rising in the west!

We're venturing out, where no man has gone.
And we don't know what's lurking out there.

There'll be wolves and lions and spiders and snakes
And bears and bears and bears!

But I'm not worried, not one little bit!
We can do anything with my brains and your grit!

There'll be monsters and lava and poisonous flies!
And there's a good chance that we'll probably die!

We're Lewis and Clark

Clark and Lewis
...actually that doesn't sound right...

We're Lewis and Clark!

I promise you I mean this,
nothing will come between us!
'Cause you're my best friend til the end so now let's disembark!

Off we go,
to the unknown!
Let's hit the road, there is no need to digress.
I think we've found our calling,
and although the sun is falling,
our adventure is rising in the west!
Track Name: Kevin Froleiks - Who Does He Think He Is?
Jefferson, you really amaze me.
You're always finding new ways to be lazy.
I'd heard rumors but I just had to see
How you were tarnishing the office of the presidency.

Now you gotta cut it out,
stop being such a jerk.
It's time to buckle down
and start doing some work.
I thought you would have grown up,
but you're still just the same.
If Washington were alive,
he would be so ashamed.

Settle down, John, 'cause last time I checked,
I'm the president now, and I deserve your respect.
Since you left this job has gotten so much harder.
And it only gets harder when the country gets larger.

Now you're making me angry and
you're making me irate.
Why don't we take off the gloves
and have ourselves a debate?
But think for a moment
'fore you step into the ring.
You're just an ex-president,
and I'm the next big thing!

Who does he think he is? Who does he think he is?

Coming into my house, talking like he's such a big man.

An immature baby with a stupid idiotic plan.

Is it so bad that I wanna relax?

When you're the president you don't get to kick back!

Who does he think he is? Talking to me like that.

You must know you can't do this anymore.

I've heard enough. Miss Secretary, please show Adams the door.

Mr. President, how many times must I reiterate
I'm not your secretary, I'm Secretary of State.

I don't even know what that means.

Good grief.

It means if you and Burr get shot.

He's Commander in Chief.

I'm sorry, Madison, but I'm staying right hurr.
And who would even try to shoot Aaron Burr?

Yo! I'm Alexander Hamilton and I think we should get, all the states to come together and consolidate their debt!

Well I guess I've said everything I needed to say.

Good! Then see yourself out, and be on your merry way.

Oh, just one last thing.

What did you forget?

While I'm here I might as well place a couple of bets.

Fine. He can take your money.
Hope you're ready to lose.

We're betting where they're gonna die,
let me know which state you choose.
You can bet a couple dollars
or more if you can spare.

I bet a hundred bucks they make it all the way there.
Track Name: Me and You
Together, we'll follow the setting sun.
Together, I know we can get this done.
Together, we can have some fun.

You've got me
I've got you
There's nothing side by side we can't do
'Cause you've got me
And I've got you
One and one is two
This is often true,
for me and you

We've never been apart
Together from the start
If you start to fall
I'll answer your call
If you start to lag
I'll give you a drag
'Cause it's me and you!

It's Me
It's Me
and You
and You
And You
And You
And Me
And Me

And some day the world will see!

That in the end,
We're a couple of friends!

We're two of a kind,
To the finish line!

Won't let each other slack,
'cause we've got each other's back!

No matter what we face,
You could never be replaced!

'Cause it's me and you!
Track Name: Brand New America
I claim this land for the United States
If you could be on your way, that would be great.
I claim the trees, the birds, and the flowers.
You cannot claim what is already ours.
If you want, we could still name you today.
How many times must we tell you, we are Sha-sho-nay.
Please leave us alone, I think that would be best.
I’m sorry but our destiny is manifest.

We’ve discovered a brand new America!
But we already live in this Am-er-i-ca!
What’s ours is yours and what’s yours is mine.
Which means it all belongs to us, that’s the bottom line.

Why do I feel so unaccomplished and blue?
Because you didn't discover anything new!
Is that why I don’t feel fulfilled?
As explorers you are both completely unskilled.
I killed a buffalo just to make this hat.
You’re supposed to use every single part of that!
Nature’s just a trail for me to blaze.
If you fell off a cliff, I would be unphased.
So how long have your people lived here again?
Hundreds of years longer than any white men.
So I guess we can't claim we found something new.
Finally it seems I'm getting through to you.

We were hoping to find a new America.
But there's nothing new about Am-er-i-ca.
Before you got here, our lives were just fine.
Now it's time for you to leave, that's the bottom line.

I hope we've made ourselves quite clear.
Turn around and go home. Get out of here!
You have no respect for the animals you hurt.
Look another buffalo! I'm gonna make a shirt!
Is there new land to discover anywhere?
No I already have family living everywhere!
Does the Southwest have any In-di-ans?
Excuse me, sir, but we prefer Native Am-er-i-cans!
What about the Northwest?
We live there too!
Or what about--
I promise you we live there too!
Everything has been discovered, so just drop that notion.
But what about the Pacific Ocean?

I knew there had to be some new lands to find.
Little Buddy, I hope this gives you piece of mind.
I’ll make you a deal if it will get you to leave.
What sort of plan do you have hidden up your sleeve?
I’ll lead you to the Pacific if you leave us alone.
I’ll guide you both through the great unknown.
And I would also like to go.
Just to keep this fool from killing every buffalo.

Well let’s go and explore the new America!
And then we'll kick them out of our Am-er-i-ca.
We'll discover something new out at the coast line!
Then we'll go our separate ways that's the bottom line!
Track Name: The Story of Me
They say History is written by the winners
It's always fathers expecting daughters to cook them dinners
It can't be like that much longer
This girl just got a bit stronger!
I'm ready to join the story
Show you 'round the territories
I'll get you where you need to go
There's just one thing you should know

I'm making History
Doing something greater
Part of history
so take that all you haters
I'm in history
And this is the story of me

One day I'll see my name in lights
Sacagawea, the great explorer
Don't stop me, don't put up any fights
don't look at me in horror
I can't wait to see the day
When crowds gather 'round me
So important they will say
And they'll write songs about me
This is all that I could want
I hear my destiny singing
I'm a wildlife savant
it's me that you are bringing
So I think it's time we go
The three of you and me
lets get on with the show
It's time I changed the key!

I'm making History
No longer in the background
Part of history
Us four are going westbound
I'm in history
And this is the story of me

My story's just beginning
I just can't stop this grinning
I'll stay behind, just kidding
Oh boy my head is spinning

Because I'm making history
I get to tell my story
Part of history
Can't wait to bask in glory
I'm in history
And some day, they'll tell
The story of me!
Track Name: The Act One Finale Song
If there's one thing that I've learned in all my years!
It's that Americans will always persevere!
Though they may face a great adversity.
Don't underestimate the strength of the American Dream!

Well I think this bet has been won!
Because Lewis and Clark are done!
I mean it's not even fair, those two don't have a prayer!
Adams it's been fun but get out! Take care!

Our journey has officially begun!
Can you smell that Pacific Ocean!
I am leading the quest, I'm gonna get us out west!
Sacagawea, hope to see ya, taking notes from the best!

We're venturing out, with Clark in the lead.
I don't know if I made the right choice.
The fear of failure rings loud in my ears
With the sound of my father's voice!

It's me and you
Don't need some girl telling us what to do!

Who does he think he is?

Am-er-i-ca!

Just stay put!

Who does he think he is?

Am-er-i-ca!

My doubts are rising in the west!

Just stay put!

Now it's only a matter of time!
Before victory is mine, mine, mine!
But first we'll take an intermission!
Because we've reached the end of act one!

That's right an intermission is due!
So we'll see you right back here for act two!
Track Name: Lost Because of You
Now we're lost because of you!
Because you had to do those stupid things you do!
Mr. Bright Ideas! I tell you this is nothing new,
So I must bid you adieu! We're lost
And it's all because of you!

No! No! We're lost because of you!
You're the dreamer, you're the schemer and it's all because of you!
You think you are so smart! Well I've got news for you!
There's one thing I know is true! We are lost
And it's all because of you!

No, you!

Yes, you!

Screw you!

We're lost, and we both know it's your fault!
You got us lost, so the two of us are through.
We were garbage men but now
You're just garbage who somehow
Got us lost! And it's all because of you!

I feel like I'm drowning!
My heart can't stop pounding!
I find it astounding!
Our friendship I'm doubting!

Well then I say that it's
Time to call it quits
Because I've always been lost 'cause of you!

Now we're lost because of you!
Because you had to do those stupid things you do!
Mr. Bright Ideas! I tell you this is nothing new,
So I must bid you adieu! We're lost
And it's all because of you!

We're lost, and we both know it's your fault.
You got us lost, so the two of us are through.
We were garbage men but now
You're just garbage who somehow
got us lost! And it's all because of you!

Fine.

Fine.

You're on your own!
Track Name: I'm Not Gonna Say I Told You So
I’m not gonna say I told you so.
It isn’t nice to gloat.
I would never say I told you so,
the very words get stuck in my throat.

I’m not gonna say I told you so.
Not to you, my dear old friend.
I promise not to brag or boast,
I won’t show off or condescend.

I’m not gonna say I told you so,
I don’t wanna patronize!
No showing off or derisive scoff--
You haven’t won yet, you realize?
Track Name: Discovering You
There's no easy way.
For me to say.
The way you make me-
I keep trying to find
The words that rhyme
To say hey...
I...
I'm discovering the way to speak to you
I'm discovering the way to utter the phases
I'm discovering it's hard, to just come out and say
I want to be discovering you.

I know it's uncalled for
I know that it's crass
That I want to discover all parts of your mass.
I want you to want me
I want you to want me to be
Discovering me
Discovering you
I want to be discovering you.

You are so beautiful
That's easy to see
But finding the words
can be so hard for me
I need to be with you, I want to be close
I think this is coming off just a bit gross

I'm discovering the way to speak to you
I'm discovering the way to utter the phrases
I'm discovering it's hard, to just come out and say
I want to be discovering you.
Why oh why is this hard
Can't oh can't it be easy
For me just to say--

I'm discovering the way to speak to you
I'm discovering the way to utter the phases
I'm discovering it's hard, to just come out and say
I want to be discovering you.

You want to be discovering me?
I find it strange that men want me
I mean it's strange for my age
I guess that I'm saying, I'm glad that it's you
Cause I want to discover you too!

We're discovering the way to find the words.
We're discovering the way to utter the phrases.
We're discovering the way to speak to each other.
I'm glad I'm discovering you.
Track Name: Discovering Me
There's no easy way
For me to say
I think I might be--

I lose the words
They come out like turds
Can't I just say--

I'm discovering the way to be myself
Discovering the way to open myself up
I'm discovering the way to just be happy
I'm discovering that I might be

I'm discovering it's easy not to judge
I'm seeing it's hard to just come out and say it
Open the closet and let yourself out.
Discover more about you.

Since I was a boy,
I felt different inside
I knew that I wasn't the same
Now I'm a man, and that boy still resides
Shamefully deep in my soul
Now it's time to come out of that hole
It's time to open the doors

I'm discovering the way to be myself
I'm discovering the way to open myself up
I'm discovering the way to just be happy
I'm discovering that I am what I am!
Track Name: Out West!
Well...
Hand in hand
We'll show them we can
Make it out west

Came a long way
But today's the day
We make it out west

Even though the road is rough
We'll still show 'em we've got the stuff
And now we're finally headed to the west!

I'm sorry I got a bit nutty
No problem, little buddy

Now the four of us
Explorius
Are heading out---
WEST!

Out West!
Track Name: Finale (The Adventures of Lewis and Clark)
We all know Columbus sailed the ocean blue
Way back in fourteen...something something...
But here's something you may not realize
Leif Erikson was the first to arrive!

Yet we celebrate Columbus for getting here first.
And let me tell you something worse,
When he washed up upon our beach
He thought it was India he had reached.

'Cause Columbus was kind of an idiot,
But we still shower him with praise.
America honors an idiot,
With a day off from work and parades.
Yes Columbus was kind of an idiot
who never found anything new.
If America can love that idiot,
Then they'll love the three of us too!

We discovered we can do anything
We totally proved my dad was wrong
I made it out out west but not alone
I discovered it with both of you!

Our journey has just finished
Our dreams were not diminished
We made it out here
We made it out west
There's just one last thing that's vital
Your book will need a title.
A title with a catchy hook!
I know what I will call my book...

The Adventures of Lewis and Clark!
Or
Exploring with Lewis and Clark
Or
Tuesday's with Lewis and Clark
Or
Of Mice and Lewis and Clark
Or
Fahrenheit Lewis and Clark

Or Breakfast of Lewis and Clark. Or Tropic of Lewis and Clark. Or As I Lay Lewis and Clark. Or The Talented Mr. Lewis and Clark. Or The Hitchhiker's Guide to Lewis and Clark. Or--

The Adventures of Lewis and Clark.

You did it little buddy
You made it all the way
Hey not without you
So what can I say
Our Journey was long
The adventure was rough
But we were both strong
Sacagawea was tough

Who could forget the Adventures of Lewis and Clark
Oh who could forget the Adventures of Lewis and Clark
Please don't forget the Adventures of Lewis and Clark!
The Adventures of Lewis and Clark and Sacagawea!

Oh Yeah!

Time for us to get off stage
It's the scripts final page
That's right, my friends
We've reached the end
So now you can go home!